So here I am, back again, after a whole bunch of years away from the University. Amazing how they can put an undergraduate transcript in the deep freeze, then thaw it out again when someone like me comes wandering in. And there it is, in all its archaic mimeographic splendor -- the record of my first two years at UCSC, my triumphs and disappointments, my checkered academic past.
We can probably stipulate that a “re-entry student” (re-admit) such as myself is liable to be dragging around a somewhat more complicated biography than his or her more traditionally aged classmates. Naturally, with so much more time out in the world in which to run amok, we’ve had many more opportunities than our scholarly peers to create complications -- marriages, children, careers, train wrecks of various kinds -- hence the need for some type of hiatus and the eventual return, at some later time (possibly much later), to finish what we started.
And, speaking of “re-entry” (and I love that terminology, by the way, conjuring images of astronauts fire-balling down through the stratosphere on their way back from orbit -- yeah, that’s me, heroically quitting my day job to study Lit): first, I would like to express the gratitude I feel to the University for making this opportunity available for wayward former Slugs such as myself. (Although in fact, the Banana Slug wasn’t officially designated mascot until after I had already come and gone) The simple truth is that a student who leaves this University in good standing has only a one-page form to fill out to reactivate their college career. You kind of just walk back in -- which I still think is a little bit amazing. Then secondly, for making that “walk” so much easier, I’d like to say thanks to the people in the STARS program here at UCSC for their early welcome and their continuing encouragement and support. When I began to think seriously about returning to school, I had nothing but questions and STARS had nothing but free coffee, internet access, and lots of good information and advice for me. The Staff continues to be a great source of advice and support (and free food) and, provides a welcoming sanctuary (fully computerized) for all us “non-traditional” students attempting to follow “the path less trodden.” STARS: we who are about to learn salute you.
Still, a certain kind of weirdness inevitably haunts the older undergrad on this campus -- an awareness of the doubts of others -- the normal skepticism anyone might feel when confronted with a fish-out-of-water lugging a back-pack full of books onto a Loop shuttle at the crack of dawn. People have not been unkind, but I’m conscious that many of my somewhat startled peers -- if noticing me at all -- seem to be wondering how long I’ve been out of prison, or re-hab, or the zombie cult, and what exactly I was in for. Or, perhaps more reasonably, they’re just wondering why someone who looks like their dad on a bad day is taking Lit 101 -- right now, at the same time as them.
Well, classmates, the answer of course is the same for me as it is for you: I’m trying to make something out of my life. I’m trying to acquire some recognizable, valuable credentials, along with a larger and better integrated understanding of What It All Means, which will, I hope, better prepare me to succeed in the Real World upon my inevitable “re-entry” there -- one which I hope will not invoke images of fireballs plummeting earthward.
Therefore, if you see a skinny, older white guy wandering around with a metal UCSC coffee mug permanently welded to his right hand, and a certain weary-yet-alert aura that betokens both steady effort and appreciation of the moment, go ahead and relax, say “Hi” if you feel like it -- I’m just a student like yourself, back for a while, and grateful as I can be for the chance.
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